Tuesday, March 30, 2010
sweet, sweet telepathy. (:
it just so happened that baby bought me Dars White Chocolate (cause i love white choc) from 7-11 today while on the way to school and i bought him Dars Dark Chocolate (cause he loves dark choc) from the snack shop in school at the same time~ so when he came, he opened his bag on the table, took out the white choc and handed it to me. i was utterly stunned. then grinning, i took the dark chocolates i bought out and passed it to him, and we just kinda stared at each other, like with the "are you kidding me?" and "i dont believe it!" face. and even kath was kinda surprised there was telepathy cause she saw me choosing my chocolates. ahaha. so qiao both Dars brand somemore. and for each other. (:
aww man. that secretly made my day. cause baby thought of me and bought me chocs (: now i know he does think of me. =D it's another one of those days when the simplest things can make me smile. (:
ok ratios, i am conquering you tomorrow! management accounting too! Watch out!
Time for bed. 5.5 hours left to slp. ):
it just so happened that baby bought me Dars White Chocolate (cause i love white choc) from 7-11 today while on the way to school and i bought him Dars Dark Chocolate (cause he loves dark choc) from the snack shop in school at the same time~ so when he came, he opened his bag on the table, took out the white choc and handed it to me. i was utterly stunned. then grinning, i took the dark chocolates i bought out and passed it to him, and we just kinda stared at each other, like with the "are you kidding me?" and "i dont believe it!" face. and even kath was kinda surprised there was telepathy cause she saw me choosing my chocolates. ahaha. so qiao both Dars brand somemore. and for each other. (:
aww man. that secretly made my day. cause baby thought of me and bought me chocs (: now i know he does think of me. =D it's another one of those days when the simplest things can make me smile. (:
ok ratios, i am conquering you tomorrow! management accounting too! Watch out!
Time for bed. 5.5 hours left to slp. ):
spin me silly, 2:05 AM.
Monday, March 29, 2010
went to find baby at jwsc today. so i went sun tanning (so weird. all guys around only) -_- and then i went to change to swimsuit to swim laps. apparently that was not a wise choice! i thought 1 hour would fly past quickly, cuz i was swimming laps while waiting for him to finish coaching his last class for the afternoon. alas, i realized i swam a total of 35 laps. in a 50m pool, which means 1.75km!! geez.
b's lips are getting worse. ahaha. its black! =\ now its damn damn obvious. looks like someone punched him in the face. >.<"
then we went to his house for lunch, auntie cooked tauhu goreng and prawn tempura and there was the tie dan his godbro brought home from taiwan. yum yum. but after that my mouth stank! i was talking to b after lunch and he wanted to faint from the garlic mixed with tie dan smell. ahahaha. he had to throw me mints =x watched bu liang xiao hua together on his bed. then we had a pillow fight. ahaha. i won! woohoo. i kicked him off his queen size bed. ho ho ho! so he sat on the floor for 10 minutes. =D and then i took out the masks i brought, from the fridge and helped him with a royal jelly one. i took a grape one. its really refreshing! b fell asleep while waiting for the time to be up. hur hur hur. i took a picture. =X
here here! lol!
so gay right. ahaha
b's lips are getting worse. ahaha. its black! =\ now its damn damn obvious. looks like someone punched him in the face. >.<"
then we went to his house for lunch, auntie cooked tauhu goreng and prawn tempura and there was the tie dan his godbro brought home from taiwan. yum yum. but after that my mouth stank! i was talking to b after lunch and he wanted to faint from the garlic mixed with tie dan smell. ahahaha. he had to throw me mints =x watched bu liang xiao hua together on his bed. then we had a pillow fight. ahaha. i won! woohoo. i kicked him off his queen size bed. ho ho ho! so he sat on the floor for 10 minutes. =D and then i took out the masks i brought, from the fridge and helped him with a royal jelly one. i took a grape one. its really refreshing! b fell asleep while waiting for the time to be up. hur hur hur. i took a picture. =X
here here! lol!
so gay right. ahaha
helped b remove the mask after 15 minutes, and then cleaned his face up and watched him sleep. i didnt dare sleep next to him...afraid auntie would mind. b hugged my leg at one point and fell asleep, thinking its his bolster. so cute. i love watching the one i love sleep. its like the world's suddenly so peaceful and i'm just contented to sit there, sayang him and watch him sleep, even though i'm barely able to keep awake myself.
it's the simplest things like these that makes me happy... (:
tomorrow is the start of my battle. 37 days left. i WANT to score 70 for pbf, 60 for maths, 75 for stats, 55 for poa, and econs 40! jiayou jiayou! my brains are growing, please tell me they are!
spin me silly, 12:55 AM.
Friday, March 26, 2010
sometimes i wonder, do i really get jealous so easily? seeing text messages from someone whose number is not saved yet, asking him where he stays and him replying with a smiley face... who on earth is she? and how did he get to know her? why smileys when he doesnt even use them on annette or kw? ARGH. like why on earth do i feel that you are sms flirting in front of me?! i need to stop my stupid jealousy. if not i think i'll go crazy one day. i wished he hadnt come clean with me why he and his ex broke up. now it makes me wonder, whether that will also happen to me one day.
his lips look so kissing fish with the swelling. haha. just that its purpleeee.
woke up at 11.45 today. zzz. time to do stats or go and sleep? rubbishy mood. grr. needs.
his lips look so kissing fish with the swelling. haha. just that its purpleeee.
woke up at 11.45 today. zzz. time to do stats or go and sleep? rubbishy mood. grr. needs.
spin me silly, 12:08 AM.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
something i drew for b this morning while i couldnt study. hahaha. (who ask him to sleep from 8pm till 7am the next day~~) its looks like him right! esp the tummy. =\
spin me silly, 1:42 AM.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
my heart stopped. seeing him getting outta his car and running after me to send me up, i was really happy. but what happened next made my heart stopped for a moment.
b ran after me, caught me when i got into the lift, so i gave him a hug. however, when the lift door closed, he suddenly told me "i'm going to faint." and i was like "huh? serious? dont play a fool!" and he said "i'm not joking, i'm really going to..." and then before he could complete his sentence, he slipped outta my arms and onto the floor, sprawled out and twitched for what seemed like 10-15 seconds? i could almost sworn my heart stopped.
when i saw him collapse onto my lift floor, it dawned on me he wasnt kidding, and he was having convulsions.
the fear inside me that triggered at that very sight of him collapsing, the fear of losing someone i love, its too scary. i was shaking from the fear too. but i hurried to try and hold him up while still reeling from the shock. he regained consciousness and pulled himself up with my help.
baby's lips had 3 cuts and were bleeding and he was in a daze. stupid lift, why did it have to be so hard. if only it's carpeted.
my heart's aching from the worry. its then i know i dont ever wanna lose him! EVER. after exams, i'm gonna accompany him to the doc. its to buy the reassurance that he's fine, or maybe just due to some inability of his body to adjust his blood pressure from sitting to running instantly.
why didnt i catch hold of him in time? why did i let him slip off and get cuts on his lips? I CANNOT BE SUCH A WEAKLING! i wanna get stronger. i wanna be stronger. i wanna be there to support b ah. if i cant even do that, i dont deserve to be his gf.
poa chpt 7, excericse 8, chpt 8 and half of excercise 9 done today. tmr is stats chi-square, econs macro tutorial 5, and stats normal distribution. at the very least.
debating whether to buy herbal tea and bring to b at newton tmr after his test, then head to school. he still gotta coach in the morning. sigh.
dear God, i know i seldom pray or speak to you except on occasions, nor am i part of the faith, but now i'm praying to you, please let b be fine. please do not let anything happen to him. please watch over him. it means alot to me. i'll be very grateful. thanks. amen.
b ran after me, caught me when i got into the lift, so i gave him a hug. however, when the lift door closed, he suddenly told me "i'm going to faint." and i was like "huh? serious? dont play a fool!" and he said "i'm not joking, i'm really going to..." and then before he could complete his sentence, he slipped outta my arms and onto the floor, sprawled out and twitched for what seemed like 10-15 seconds? i could almost sworn my heart stopped.
when i saw him collapse onto my lift floor, it dawned on me he wasnt kidding, and he was having convulsions.
the fear inside me that triggered at that very sight of him collapsing, the fear of losing someone i love, its too scary. i was shaking from the fear too. but i hurried to try and hold him up while still reeling from the shock. he regained consciousness and pulled himself up with my help.
baby's lips had 3 cuts and were bleeding and he was in a daze. stupid lift, why did it have to be so hard. if only it's carpeted.
my heart's aching from the worry. its then i know i dont ever wanna lose him! EVER. after exams, i'm gonna accompany him to the doc. its to buy the reassurance that he's fine, or maybe just due to some inability of his body to adjust his blood pressure from sitting to running instantly.
why didnt i catch hold of him in time? why did i let him slip off and get cuts on his lips? I CANNOT BE SUCH A WEAKLING! i wanna get stronger. i wanna be stronger. i wanna be there to support b ah. if i cant even do that, i dont deserve to be his gf.
poa chpt 7, excericse 8, chpt 8 and half of excercise 9 done today. tmr is stats chi-square, econs macro tutorial 5, and stats normal distribution. at the very least.
debating whether to buy herbal tea and bring to b at newton tmr after his test, then head to school. he still gotta coach in the morning. sigh.
dear God, i know i seldom pray or speak to you except on occasions, nor am i part of the faith, but now i'm praying to you, please let b be fine. please do not let anything happen to him. please watch over him. it means alot to me. i'll be very grateful. thanks. amen.
spin me silly, 11:22 PM.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
bitter, sweet love. i experienced both today. it felt like i was riding on a roller coaster. first it went down down down till i cried, and then it went back up up up and i'm now happy. geez.
something happened between me and b today. we met for an hour during lunch and quarrelled. and then i went home while he went back to coach. Mum saw me cooping myself up in my room, asked me what happened, and the tears went free-falling. i know i was sad, but i didnt know it was to this extend. i think i was very tired of being the one giving in and loving more all the time.
afterwhich, he texted me sorry. and i texted back a 10 msges long sms, conveying how i felt about the quarrel and my feelings over these 2 mths, while he continue to coach till 7pm.
then clearing up my puffer fish eyes as much as possible, i headed to tpy spans court for vball friendly. urgh. not good i tell you. i screwed up pretty bad. haha
and then wilson and i were so bored we decided to play this lame game. write questions and fold and put into my shoebag, then answer the questions we pick out. hahaha. i think i learnt alot of secrets of his. wheee.
then afterwhich, i called b to check what he's doing a.t.m. while waiting for mum to come pick me up. mum never came to pick me up. he appeared at the court near 10pm instead! i'm so so so happy (: its always damn sweet when bf picks gf up at the court after her sports game. b came all the way...all the way...and then he hugged me, apologized and took me for dinner at his favourite kway chap store in tpy. ahhhh, now i feel so loved. (: (: (:
too bad b cant go for my cousin gathering ltr. he has been wanting to play with baby joshua for so long already, and my cousins so wanna see him~~ =\
something happened between me and b today. we met for an hour during lunch and quarrelled. and then i went home while he went back to coach. Mum saw me cooping myself up in my room, asked me what happened, and the tears went free-falling. i know i was sad, but i didnt know it was to this extend. i think i was very tired of being the one giving in and loving more all the time.
afterwhich, he texted me sorry. and i texted back a 10 msges long sms, conveying how i felt about the quarrel and my feelings over these 2 mths, while he continue to coach till 7pm.
then clearing up my puffer fish eyes as much as possible, i headed to tpy spans court for vball friendly. urgh. not good i tell you. i screwed up pretty bad. haha
and then wilson and i were so bored we decided to play this lame game. write questions and fold and put into my shoebag, then answer the questions we pick out. hahaha. i think i learnt alot of secrets of his. wheee.
then afterwhich, i called b to check what he's doing a.t.m. while waiting for mum to come pick me up. mum never came to pick me up. he appeared at the court near 10pm instead! i'm so so so happy (: its always damn sweet when bf picks gf up at the court after her sports game. b came all the way...all the way...and then he hugged me, apologized and took me for dinner at his favourite kway chap store in tpy. ahhhh, now i feel so loved. (: (: (:
too bad b cant go for my cousin gathering ltr. he has been wanting to play with baby joshua for so long already, and my cousins so wanna see him~~ =\
spin me silly, 12:54 AM.
Friday, March 19, 2010
trust. one short word, it takes years to build, yet only a minute to break. trust. something that doesnt come naturally. trust. is something my heart must learn.
how can we trust?
trusting people is a scary thing. to trust is to put ourselves in vulnerable positions, knowing it might end up both ways, happy to have trusted or, utterly betrayed. So far, i've only been betrayed, so it takes alot for me to believe in others again, but i'm trying, i'm trying.
i can only calm my rubbish thoughts at times by thinking positive and saying, whatever will be, will be.
just tell me you love me.
thats all it takes to calm my fears and stupid thoughts at times.
sometimes, thats all it takes.
its friday again. going to sch at 9am to mug. didnt get to talk to him at all yesterday, except when he called me with jennifer's hp to tell me his hp batt died. other than that, he didnt call me. so sad ): sigh. i do hope he's really asleep, cause i dont wanna wait anymore. am heading to bed too.
oyasumi.
how can we trust?
trusting people is a scary thing. to trust is to put ourselves in vulnerable positions, knowing it might end up both ways, happy to have trusted or, utterly betrayed. So far, i've only been betrayed, so it takes alot for me to believe in others again, but i'm trying, i'm trying.
i can only calm my rubbish thoughts at times by thinking positive and saying, whatever will be, will be.
just tell me you love me.
thats all it takes to calm my fears and stupid thoughts at times.
sometimes, thats all it takes.
its friday again. going to sch at 9am to mug. didnt get to talk to him at all yesterday, except when he called me with jennifer's hp to tell me his hp batt died. other than that, he didnt call me. so sad ): sigh. i do hope he's really asleep, cause i dont wanna wait anymore. am heading to bed too.
oyasumi.
spin me silly, 1:33 AM.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
am having mild fever of 37.5 degrees celsius.. must have caught it at IT fair or Lan Shop and because b bully me! ):
persuaded my mum to lemme get a new laptop. cause mine is 2.5yrs old already. starting to mulfunction. she asked me to service it then give it to her for stock market monitoring use. wheee.
dell, toshiba, hp, compaq, wait for meeee~
persuaded my mum to lemme get a new laptop. cause mine is 2.5yrs old already. starting to mulfunction. she asked me to service it then give it to her for stock market monitoring use. wheee.
dell, toshiba, hp, compaq, wait for meeee~
spin me silly, 7:27 PM.
b means alot to me. he really does. i only wish he'll stop taking me for granted. someone to rant at when he's angry or stressed. someone he can talk to, share his dreams and daily happenings with, but not someone he'll pay extra extra attention to when she's feeling upset or moody. i always cheer him up when he's upset or moody, but who's here to cheer me up when im sad? i wish he'll be the one here for me.
cant sleep. i appear offline, so that i can avoid things. but yet i keep taking note of his status. busy, available, busy, available. he has to coach at 9am tomorrow. i'm worried he wont have enough rest. i so wanna call him, so wanna hug him and tell him to go sleep, but yet i dont want to be the one always there for him and being taken for granted and ranted at for lame reasons again. i really dont. sigh. this is so confusing.
dear god, please just make him tired and make him fall asleep with sweetdreams, though just enough not for him to be late for coaching class tomorrow.
i guess i should go get some rest too. my eyes. puffy puff le.
cant sleep. i appear offline, so that i can avoid things. but yet i keep taking note of his status. busy, available, busy, available. he has to coach at 9am tomorrow. i'm worried he wont have enough rest. i so wanna call him, so wanna hug him and tell him to go sleep, but yet i dont want to be the one always there for him and being taken for granted and ranted at for lame reasons again. i really dont. sigh. this is so confusing.
dear god, please just make him tired and make him fall asleep with sweetdreams, though just enough not for him to be late for coaching class tomorrow.
i guess i should go get some rest too. my eyes. puffy puff le.
spin me silly, 3:03 AM.
the day started out great, with me meeting kath at 1pm to go for the IT show. ate shokudo at raffles city then headed down to the fair at suntec. spilled my bubble tea in shokudo. that was the start of a bad day.
bought an iphone screen protector for b at the fair, knowing he needs one. that was the only thing i bought. i didnt even think of myself. then kath and i walked around and chatted about our lives. filling each other in whats been going on the past few months. and we went to hunt for mugging places in harborfront centre. its time to study.
after which, i headed to school to find b, grace, daryl and daryl's friends to l4d2. the day went by fine, till at the end of lan session, b accused me of being fierce to him and treating the game seriously just cause he killed me in the game and i sulked and stared at him. i was just joking with the stare.. then he left me to walk with grace and walked far far ahead up the dimly lit roads to the car. yeah, he left me behind, without ever turning back once. is this the guy i've been loving the past few months? why does he always throw tantrums at me? it hurts so bad i came home to cry. the thing i really hate most, is being left behind. and i see him walk off again...i really feel..heartbroken. the feeling sucks to the core. the more i love, the more it hurts!
it's days like these that i hate myself for loving again. its the days like these that makes me wanna give up, turn into a nun, or just turn heartless and emotionless. maybe then i wont subject myself to tears and hurt. maybe. just maybe.
bought an iphone screen protector for b at the fair, knowing he needs one. that was the only thing i bought. i didnt even think of myself. then kath and i walked around and chatted about our lives. filling each other in whats been going on the past few months. and we went to hunt for mugging places in harborfront centre. its time to study.
after which, i headed to school to find b, grace, daryl and daryl's friends to l4d2. the day went by fine, till at the end of lan session, b accused me of being fierce to him and treating the game seriously just cause he killed me in the game and i sulked and stared at him. i was just joking with the stare.. then he left me to walk with grace and walked far far ahead up the dimly lit roads to the car. yeah, he left me behind, without ever turning back once. is this the guy i've been loving the past few months? why does he always throw tantrums at me? it hurts so bad i came home to cry. the thing i really hate most, is being left behind. and i see him walk off again...i really feel..heartbroken. the feeling sucks to the core. the more i love, the more it hurts!
it's days like these that i hate myself for loving again. its the days like these that makes me wanna give up, turn into a nun, or just turn heartless and emotionless. maybe then i wont subject myself to tears and hurt. maybe. just maybe.
spin me silly, 12:35 AM.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
today..today..today...i am a pig ): sleeping at 5am wasnt the best idea. damnned. i woke up once when my alarm rang at 10am, wanted to sms baby to ask him how's coaching, but fell asleep again before i could even type it! baby rang me up at 11am, after his coaching ended and called me a pig. haha. i forgot what i said to him, but i think it was pretty babyish from the way i heard him laugh =\ oh well, AND THEN I WENT BACK TO SLEEP AGAIN. argh! wth is wrong with me! i keep sleeping and sleeping. only finally woke up at 1230! 2.5hrs of attempting to understand econs wasted. it was only around 5pm i finally touched my notes.
wrote out my next 2 months schedule into my planner and only then did it dawn on me that EXAMS ARE COMING. gee. i'm so so dead. *activating panic mode* how am i gonna pass econs?! i have to pass because i dont want to be left behind when everyone advances. urghh! ok, gonna pass marius his pbf exam paper back and then off i go to bathe and attempt to do the macro tutorial 1 of manfred's.
signing off!
wrote out my next 2 months schedule into my planner and only then did it dawn on me that EXAMS ARE COMING. gee. i'm so so dead. *activating panic mode* how am i gonna pass econs?! i have to pass because i dont want to be left behind when everyone advances. urghh! ok, gonna pass marius his pbf exam paper back and then off i go to bathe and attempt to do the macro tutorial 1 of manfred's.
signing off!
spin me silly, 9:02 PM.
its already 4.15am, am pretty tired but i wanted to complete my blog layout and mixpod once and for all, so that i can blog this out.
i'm such a happy girl today. i got to go out with baby. it's our 2nd month together (: and the sweetest yet. the things he does, never fails to make me smile. when he has his arms round me, i feel so safe and loved. ahhhh. ok. enough of the goosebumps.
met baby at 5.15pm at orchard central cause he had to meet ken chua prior to our date. walked around orchard central, exploring the place cause b hasnt been there before. we went to browse couple lab there, and decided that their rings are getting too common because of the number of couples who have them. (but i didnt tell him there're a couple of nice designs though =x ) well, we have to change our current ring because b cant fit his ring onto his right fingers and for some belief, he has to do that.
then we went to cineleisure to catch alice in wonderland. uob cardholders good deal! it got us tics at $6 each. grabbed abit of dinner at kobayashi before movie. wasnt that great a show seriously, I HEARD B SNORE AT THE LAST PART! lol, cause the ending part was kinda boring, so he fell asleep at the last 2 minutes. lousy!
afterwhich, we headed to ion to get bubble tea then went towards his car at lucky plaza. bumped into a guy b knows from coaching on the way back, and then we spied him for a little while. haha. that was totally lame. (we thought he was having an affair or gay or smth. budden he was actually waiting for his wife. >.< truck ="X
and so,
for once, we got to enjoy each other's company without time constraint on either of our part, especially his. i'm so glad for that. finally, a normal decent date. i love you b! i know its scary to love again, cause i'll just put myself in yet another vulnerable position, but i shall. seriously hope b will never ever break my heart..
us from right to left. when we first got to know each other, our first valentine's together, and finally, the one taken today (:
i'm such a happy girl today. i got to go out with baby. it's our 2nd month together (: and the sweetest yet. the things he does, never fails to make me smile. when he has his arms round me, i feel so safe and loved. ahhhh. ok. enough of the goosebumps.
met baby at 5.15pm at orchard central cause he had to meet ken chua prior to our date. walked around orchard central, exploring the place cause b hasnt been there before. we went to browse couple lab there, and decided that their rings are getting too common because of the number of couples who have them. (but i didnt tell him there're a couple of nice designs though =x ) well, we have to change our current ring because b cant fit his ring onto his right fingers and for some belief, he has to do that.
then we went to cineleisure to catch alice in wonderland. uob cardholders good deal! it got us tics at $6 each. grabbed abit of dinner at kobayashi before movie. wasnt that great a show seriously, I HEARD B SNORE AT THE LAST PART! lol, cause the ending part was kinda boring, so he fell asleep at the last 2 minutes. lousy!
afterwhich, we headed to ion to get bubble tea then went towards his car at lucky plaza. bumped into a guy b knows from coaching on the way back, and then we spied him for a little while. haha. that was totally lame. (we thought he was having an affair or gay or smth. budden he was actually waiting for his wife. >.< truck ="X
and so,
for once, we got to enjoy each other's company without time constraint on either of our part, especially his. i'm so glad for that. finally, a normal decent date. i love you b! i know its scary to love again, cause i'll just put myself in yet another vulnerable position, but i shall. seriously hope b will never ever break my heart..
us from right to left. when we first got to know each other, our first valentine's together, and finally, the one taken today (:
spin me silly, 4:16 AM.
