Friday, May 28, 2010
i remebered how you kissed me goodnight, blanketed me and hugged me to sleep.
that's one of the only reasons i can comfort myself with and stop asking myself if i was just a toy to you since we broke up.
wonder if it should be happy or really sad memories, cause i feel my mind trying to block everything out, not wanting to relief the nostalgic yet sad sad feelings again. i need time away, time to heal, but i'm doubting myself. how long do i need? its been almost 2 months but it seems to me like it was just yesterday that we broke up. 1 year, 2 years? will i ever get over him? he still occupies my thoughts, as much as i dont want to or hate it. like why should someone who'll never be mine, keep occupying my heart and my thoughts?! its just really frustrating and upsetting to me.
"have i told you lately...i still.."
crap. so my resolve is just so weak.
now that i'm not with him, my parents dont even lemme stay out past midnight anymore. what the hell.
our ics prawning session got cancelled today thanks to the crowd at the prawning area. z Z z. so we went to wee teck's house to mahjong from 9+pm till 1am. got a hell lot of kp-ing and screaming from the phone from my dad. the fact that i informed them myself that i was going to be home late, is already enough. why the eff-ing scream at me in front of my friends who can totally hear it through the phone?! not embarassing?! all my girl friends who are 20 years old, DONT EVEN have their parents calling them at 11+ to demand them home or scold them. what is this man?! i'm freaking 22! by 8 years i would be married and stuff like that, by then do i still need to report full details everyday??
won $11 from mahjong with them today. just lucky only.
GSS officially begins. shoppers, ladies, get your legs ready.
that's one of the only reasons i can comfort myself with and stop asking myself if i was just a toy to you since we broke up.
wonder if it should be happy or really sad memories, cause i feel my mind trying to block everything out, not wanting to relief the nostalgic yet sad sad feelings again. i need time away, time to heal, but i'm doubting myself. how long do i need? its been almost 2 months but it seems to me like it was just yesterday that we broke up. 1 year, 2 years? will i ever get over him? he still occupies my thoughts, as much as i dont want to or hate it. like why should someone who'll never be mine, keep occupying my heart and my thoughts?! its just really frustrating and upsetting to me.
"have i told you lately...i still.."
crap. so my resolve is just so weak.
now that i'm not with him, my parents dont even lemme stay out past midnight anymore. what the hell.
our ics prawning session got cancelled today thanks to the crowd at the prawning area. z Z z. so we went to wee teck's house to mahjong from 9+pm till 1am. got a hell lot of kp-ing and screaming from the phone from my dad. the fact that i informed them myself that i was going to be home late, is already enough. why the eff-ing scream at me in front of my friends who can totally hear it through the phone?! not embarassing?! all my girl friends who are 20 years old, DONT EVEN have their parents calling them at 11+ to demand them home or scold them. what is this man?! i'm freaking 22! by 8 years i would be married and stuff like that, by then do i still need to report full details everyday??
won $11 from mahjong with them today. just lucky only.
GSS officially begins. shoppers, ladies, get your legs ready.
spin me silly, 2:14 AM.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
its so obvious. its a sign from God.
that i should stop being nice to him. but its in my nature to be nice to even the people who treat me unfairly.
saw him emo-ing on facebook. and i wanted to text him to ask him if he needed to vent it out. then i realized...
i lost my handphone and my yellow star ): i cant find my phone anywhere. called le. ringing but not in my house...if its not in the car, then i'm a goner..
so then i msned him. and guess i'm not expecting any shit reply again.
wth is wrong with him, issit really so hard to just be friends with me again?
i mean, you broke up with me luh, so what do you have to lose, even if avoid, should be me avoiding you instead of you avoiding me or being cold right? geez. get it right, i'm the one who should be annoyed here!
rah. ok. vented.
now its back to paul volcker and his...endless....wants to reform. thank Paul, your comment killed us. now we have to mug glass steagal act chapter. urgh.
that i should stop being nice to him. but its in my nature to be nice to even the people who treat me unfairly.
saw him emo-ing on facebook. and i wanted to text him to ask him if he needed to vent it out. then i realized...
i lost my handphone and my yellow star ): i cant find my phone anywhere. called le. ringing but not in my house...if its not in the car, then i'm a goner..
so then i msned him. and guess i'm not expecting any shit reply again.
wth is wrong with him, issit really so hard to just be friends with me again?
i mean, you broke up with me luh, so what do you have to lose, even if avoid, should be me avoiding you instead of you avoiding me or being cold right? geez. get it right, i'm the one who should be annoyed here!
rah. ok. vented.
now its back to paul volcker and his...endless....wants to reform. thank Paul, your comment killed us. now we have to mug glass steagal act chapter. urgh.
spin me silly, 2:18 AM.
