Thursday, April 15, 2010
thanks liyi. thank you for always being there for me.
thanks rena, for calling all the way from aussie to show how much you care.
thanks finny, for hearing me out when i needed someone to talk to while i couldnt study.
i'm glad i have you guys by my side. it really means a lot to me. you three touched my heart.
i got angry and sent a furious sms to him today, after he sent a msg back telling me he's gonna shut off his phone so that he could concentrate. and that he's going home for dinner tmr. i asked for some 2 person time, and not join the rest for l4d...because i wanted to sort things out so that i can finally concentrate on my studies, and stop letting my heart rule my head. if only he didnt mean so much to me, maybe i wouldnt be so miserable now. i used a stern tone to reply how much i hated it that i keep trying to ask him out to resolve our issues, but time and again he refuted it. cause i'm really at my limit. i need reassurance. i need love. i need him to be there for me, especially in times like this when i need him.. i'm not a robot. i'm human... if only he understood. i told him to be fair, that i want to resolve things so i can get down to studying too.
and he replied in a pissed off tone again, that tomorrow after poa class, we'll talk. cause he cant take my emoing anymore.
looks like i'm gonna end up crying again. is this gonna be the end?
he sent that msg at 3pm. i didnt reply. and now its 11.50pm, i can almost swear, that i'll not get a concerned msg or a worried phone call. he likes everything in his life to fall into place, including my emotions i guess. how is this possible?
i didnt want things to become liddat.
but its horrible. i've been bottling stuff up for 3 months, and with all the stress now, i just feel like bawling my eyes out. it doesnt help that he doesnt care about my feelings. its like he's more concerned i'm affecting his studies. if he loves me, reassured me, i would be like this now. cant he see it? );
why is my life always so miserable?!
liyi, i'll think what you said through. cause ultimately, it has to be what i want and whether its feasible in the long run. thank you for coming out with me today girl. i miss going out with you.
need to go bathe and sort out my brains now. and write down a heartfelt list and see if he can compromise too, or i dont know what to do anymore... i'm at my wits end. i care so much, i give in so much, i dunno how much more i can do so without the person i love, caring for me back. i'm so scared of tomorrow actually, cause it might be the end to him.
the end of everything i wanted and the end of a relationship with someone i love. life sucks.
thanks rena, for calling all the way from aussie to show how much you care.
thanks finny, for hearing me out when i needed someone to talk to while i couldnt study.
i'm glad i have you guys by my side. it really means a lot to me. you three touched my heart.
i got angry and sent a furious sms to him today, after he sent a msg back telling me he's gonna shut off his phone so that he could concentrate. and that he's going home for dinner tmr. i asked for some 2 person time, and not join the rest for l4d...because i wanted to sort things out so that i can finally concentrate on my studies, and stop letting my heart rule my head. if only he didnt mean so much to me, maybe i wouldnt be so miserable now. i used a stern tone to reply how much i hated it that i keep trying to ask him out to resolve our issues, but time and again he refuted it. cause i'm really at my limit. i need reassurance. i need love. i need him to be there for me, especially in times like this when i need him.. i'm not a robot. i'm human... if only he understood. i told him to be fair, that i want to resolve things so i can get down to studying too.
and he replied in a pissed off tone again, that tomorrow after poa class, we'll talk. cause he cant take my emoing anymore.
looks like i'm gonna end up crying again. is this gonna be the end?
he sent that msg at 3pm. i didnt reply. and now its 11.50pm, i can almost swear, that i'll not get a concerned msg or a worried phone call. he likes everything in his life to fall into place, including my emotions i guess. how is this possible?
i didnt want things to become liddat.
but its horrible. i've been bottling stuff up for 3 months, and with all the stress now, i just feel like bawling my eyes out. it doesnt help that he doesnt care about my feelings. its like he's more concerned i'm affecting his studies. if he loves me, reassured me, i would be like this now. cant he see it? );
why is my life always so miserable?!
liyi, i'll think what you said through. cause ultimately, it has to be what i want and whether its feasible in the long run. thank you for coming out with me today girl. i miss going out with you.
need to go bathe and sort out my brains now. and write down a heartfelt list and see if he can compromise too, or i dont know what to do anymore... i'm at my wits end. i care so much, i give in so much, i dunno how much more i can do so without the person i love, caring for me back. i'm so scared of tomorrow actually, cause it might be the end to him.
the end of everything i wanted and the end of a relationship with someone i love. life sucks.
spin me silly, 11:44 PM.
